That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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