Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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