so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
