I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I looked at my own cervix.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
