They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
