Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
