Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
