I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
