i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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