I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
