you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
