drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
