I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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