Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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