So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
