I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
