Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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