i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
