Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
