loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
