This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
