Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
