Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
