This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
