There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
