dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
did you just send me my own nude
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
