Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
