I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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