We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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