A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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