there's paper in my vomit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
