So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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