I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
