she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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