I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
