Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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