her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
