I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
