was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
