This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
