i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
