she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
