There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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