woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
