I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
