i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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