He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
