i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
