well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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