Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
