got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
