He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
