are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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