i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize