The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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