I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
