your thong is hanging out like whoa
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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