I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
