guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
