so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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